The Rachel Zoe Project Recap: ‘The Golden Girl’ (Season 5, Episode 8)

Fashion, I just can’t quit you.
Photo: Bravo, © NBC Universal, Inc.

Previously on The Rachel Zoe Project: Lunchy Lunch Part Deux. Handbag-ladies. Lager-smelled. Awesome, now we are all caught up!

Our season finale episode opens with RZ and Rodg in bed, hair looking tousled to “mess” perfection as if they just woke up. The debate of Baby #2 rages on. How could she manage two kids, a styling business, a fashion line, an online empire, endorsement deals, a reality show, a hair salon, at least six gay best friends, bangs and a husband who is needier than Stephen Hawking? Rodg doesn’t have any answers except to tell RZ that she ain’t getting any younger. Zing!

Next, it’s off to the office where they are meeting about RZ’s upcoming book. Two of RZ’s Pink Ladies (her employees/fashion disciples) go on a treasure hunt through racks of clothes searching for the perfect looks for RZ’s book. It’s like ‘Say Yes To The Dress’ but with hipster beanies. As they search through the clothes they reminisce about the garments she has worn to events throughout the years. We are treated to old photos of RZ looking Maj from Milan to Minsk.

Back at Casa Del Zoe, RZ is posing for her book photos. Lots of options and all the dresses are 2 sizes too big, but she looks BANANAS. Everyone wants her to rock a colored frock, but RZ is in a constant 3-way with black and neutrals. FYI-Joey Maalouf is in the kitchen doing pirouettes. RZ puts on a pink dress and looks Maj, but she feels like Barbie and not in a good way. RZ puts on a gold lamae dress that brings her back to her Bat Mitzvah. It was the 80’s and she wore a gold lamae jumper. Mine was in the 90’s and I wore a puffy shirt with shoulder pads. Soul Sisters. Now it’s time to dress up Rodg and Skylander so we can get a family shot. Sky Box has a 3-piece Gucci tux and it’s almost as cute as Joey Maalouf’s diamond necklace. It was mostly reminiscing in this ep with lots of flashbacks to the first season when RZ worked out of a garage and Rodg looked like more of a boy-bander than a Phish fan.

Then, Rodge loses his f-ing mind and decides to go shopping for Skymall. He points out that all of his son’s clothes are fancy schmancy and he needs some athletic gear, hoodies and rock tees. Rodg acknowledges that RZ will have none of it, but a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. We see flashbacks of baby Skyfall when he was a newborn and Rachel’s boobs looked hot.

Rodg then presents Skyrim in his new all American male clothes. RZ rejects it all, especially the Run DMC hoodie. RZ eventually compromises that these new clothes may be worn for sporting activities and Sundays with the boys. Then it’s back to Gucci tuxes for preschool. So, is another baby on the horizon…? Rodg seems to think so.

Now it’s FASHION TIME!!! The Pink Ladies are prepping for the look book shoot for RZ’s collection. The clothes are MAJ and RZ adores her new line. This lady has a passion for fashion that just won’t quit. Adding belts, hats shoes, bags to every look – RZ is a gold medalist in accessorizing. Make that ‘gold lamae’ medalist. Then RZ isn’t feeling the red-sweater-look and the world comes to a freaking halt. But presto-chango! Zoe saves the day with a blazer. The shoot goes on to be huge success and we all hug!

Brenda & Eddie
Photo: Bravo, © NBC Universal, Inc.

We end the journey with a flashback to legend and wrap-dress icon, Diane Von Furstenberg, advising RZ on becoming the woman she always wanted to be. Has RZ become that woman? She thinks she still needs to do more. As we say goodbye to RZ, Rodg, Ione Sky, Pink Ladies, Joey Maalouf, MandanaDayani, and all rest we take a group photo. So… Will they get a place in New York City? Will RZ and Rodg make a second baby using their sex parts? Will they ever let black people on this show? Will RZ conquer the world? Will we be back for another season or will The Rachel Zoe Project be cancelled? Hey, Andy Cohen! Life would never be as MAJ without Rachel Zoe!

Randi Lawson

Randi Lawson is a Philadelphia based graphic designer and comedy enthusiast. Currently an art director at a housewares company, Randi creates funny tees, games, barware and other cool goods. Her products have been featured in movies, television and can be found in stores like Spencer’s and Urban Outfitters. When she isn’t designing, watching tv or listening to podcasts, Randi is on twitter cracking jokes about pop culture. Website.