At some point, perhaps in the middle of a gun battle against bandits protected by shields reinforced with angry midgets or while firing your talking sniper rifle that guilt-trips you whenever you fell any of your disposable foes out for your equally disposable head, you realize that sanity was thankfully left off of the “things to include in our game” checklist. Every other mission presents you with a ridiculous goal or scenario of utter parody – a favorite being a mission to shoot an evil sheriff without killing her deputy – and if you tried counting the myriad pop-culture references and shout outs in the quest text, throw away lines of dialogue, and background art alone, you’d end up with a number higher than the national debt.
No, wait I was right the first time: Shame on you, Duke Nukem development teams! You fooled us again! Where’s the real game? The one actually worth fifteen years of our time and yours? Alright, I won’t be too harsh on this point (others already have already beaten me to it), but Duke Nukem Forever simply isn’t worth the time it’s taken to make. I’m not sure what could be worth such a prolapsed cycle, but it sure isn’t this.