Profile of William Bibbiani
William Bibbiani is a highly opinionated film, TV and videogame critic living in Los Angeles, California. In addition to his work at the “California Literary Review” William also contributes articles and criticism to “Geekscape” and “Ranker” and has won multiple awards for co-hosting the weekly Geekscape podcast and for his series of Safe-For-Work satirical pornographic film critiques, “Geekscape After Dark.” He also writes screenplays and, when coerced with sweet, sweet nothings, occasionally acts in such internet series as “Bus Pirates” and “Heads Up with Nar Williams.” A graduate of the UCLA School of Film, Television and Digital Media, William sometimes regrets not pursuing a career in what he refers to as “lawyering” so that he could afford luxuries like food and shoes.
William can be found on both the Xbox Live and Playstation Network as GuyGardner2814, and on Twitter as – surprisingly – WilliamBibbiani.
wbibbiani [at] gmail [dot] com
Articles written for the California Literary Review:
- Movie Review: Despicable Me
Posted on 08 Jul 2010 in Movies, Movies & TV
Despicable Me is a wonderful piece of entertainment: witty, spry and capable of eliciting its fair share of “Aw shucks” whimpers of warm-heartedness… but it also seems to wallow in its underdog status, as indeed any CG-animated movie that wasn’t developed by a company that rhymes with “Shmixar” must.
- Catching Up With 2010: Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief
Posted on 06 Jul 2010 in Movies, The Fourth Wall
For many years now Chris Columbus and I have had an understanding: He can suck as much as he likes and in return I can tell people just how much he totally sucks.
- The Weekly Listicle: Sparkle-Free Vampire Movies!
Posted on 01 Jul 2010 in Movies, The Fourth Wall
The Weekly Listicle presents this list of Sparkle-Free Vampire Classics as selected by Julia Rhodes and William Bibbiani! What classics made our list? What obscure wonders will make their way onto your Netflix queue? Find out now!
- Movie Review: The Last Airbender
Posted on 01 Jul 2010 in Movies, Movies & TV
Isolated moments allow the old “Avatar” magic to sink back in, usually in smaller scenes with misused talent like Dev Patel, but at no point does The Last Airbender come close to the original series in quality.
- Catching Up With 2010: When in Rome
Posted on 30 Jun 2010 in Movies, The Fourth Wall
Romantic locations are a perfect fit for romances of any sub-genre, so why bother going all the way to Rome just to set up a plot point and then hightail it back to New York where – by sheer mindblowing coincidence – every guy who magically falls in love with our protagonist just so happens to live? If When in Rome actually covered the time our heroine spends in Rome it would be about 12 minutes long. And if you analyze the title further – it’s short for “When in Rome, do as the Romans do” – then it makes even less sense.
- Video Game Review: Transformers: War for Cybertron
Posted on 29 Jun 2010 in Games, Video Games
All is not well on Cybertron, home of the Transformers. A Civil War has been raging for years between the evil Decepticons and the pure-of-heart Autobots, and at the start of the game the tables have turned against our heroes as Megatron harnesses the awe-inspiring power of Dark Energon, whatever that is, to power his soldiers and conquer the planet.
- The Great Music Videos #3: “Blue Song” by Mint Royale (dir. Edgar Wright)
Posted on 22 Jun 2010 in Movies, The Fourth Wall
Fielding doesn’t have a watch… “Not that I read too good,” his defense… and asks for the exact amount of time he’ll be expected to wait for the heist to be completed. After some debate, the thieves settle on two minutes and fifty four seconds. Fielding selects a track of that exact length – “Blue Song” by Mint Royale – and the suspense begins.
- Movie Review: Jonah Hex
Posted on 19 Jun 2010 in Movies, Movies & TV
Any audience member unlucky enough to find themselves in a theater showing Jonah Hex will soon feel the same way. For the sake of the filmmakers’ careers, the audience’s sanity, and the character of Jonah Hex himself (who deserves better than this), let’s all just close our eyes and pretend none of this ever happened. Agreed? Agreed.
- The Weekly Listicle: Ten Sequels We Actually WANT To See!
Posted on 17 Jun 2010 in Movies, The Fourth Wall
Any sequel that gets us thinking about our lives, loves and futures is already a good idea, and that got us thinking here at the California Literary Review. We see so many unwanted, half-conceived sequels in the movie industry, but are there any sequels we actually want to see, yet somehow haven’t been made? Prepare yourself for this edition of The Weekly Listicle, in which Julia Rhodes and I (William Bibbiani) think would be a good idea, and not just a quick cash-in (I’m looking at you, Paranormal Activity 2).
- When Movie Marketing FAILS: Cats & Dogs 2, Knight & Day, Babies and Grown Ups
Posted on 13 Jun 2010 in Movies, The Fourth Wall
You could not pay me to see Babies. Well, strike that, you could pay me, but you’d have to pay me a lot. I’m not going to hyperbolize and say that it would take a million dollars – not that I wouldn’t accept a million dollars in payment for seeing a documentary about my least favorite class of humans – but unless at least $100 American dollars and/or the touch of a beautiful woman would be assured for me afterwards, I won’t be getting near this film with a ten foot pole (which I would admittedly then use to knock it off of the shelf at Best Buy and fling it into the nearest plasma screen). Did I mention that I’m not a fan of babies?
- Movie Review: The A-Team
Posted on 12 Jun 2010 in Movies, Movies & TV
It would be foolish to say that Carnahan reined himself in, since these are some of the nuttiest set pieces in recent cinematic memory (and that’s saying something), but they’re always easy to follow and the script always reminds us that Hannibal’s increasingly unbelievable plans are only effective because no one would ever anticipate such lunatic stunts in the first place. While The A-Team seems to enjoy the many risks they take, they never treat it like just another day at the office either, and it’s that tiny bit of respect for context that keeps Carnahan’s film engaging, even when all logic dictates that you should be shaking your head in disbelief.
- Did Alfred Hitchcock Invent the “That’s What She Said” Joke?
Posted on 11 Jun 2010 in Movies, The Fourth Wall
In this clip, poor (yet fiercely adorable) Anny Ondra confesses that she “cannot speak well” while Hitchcock himself over-enunciates each syllable, mugging to the camera and culminating with what may be the earliest recorded version of the “That’s What She Said” joke.
- The Weekly Listicle: Insultingly BAD Movies
Posted on 03 Jun 2010 in Movies, The Fourth Wall
They exist to make money more than tell a story, and are fully satisfied to merely distract an audience rather than actually entertain or – heaven forefend – enlighten them. In this installment of The Weekly Listicle, Julia Rhodes and I (William Bibbiani!) present ten films, in no particular order, that insulted your intelligence… and expected to be rewarded for it.
- HAVE YOU SEEN THIS FILM?: Barry Caillier’s Daredreamer!
Posted on 01 Jun 2010 in Movies, The Fourth Wall
If you’ve seen Daredreamer, particularly around the time it was first released, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. This has to be somebody’s favorite movie, and has to have influenced a young child on the verge of adolescence.
- Movie Review: Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Posted on 29 May 2010 in Movies, Movies & TV
The adventure really kicks in when Dastan is framed for his father’s murder and goes on the lam with only the princess – who really hates his guts – and the dagger, which he soon learns can briefly reverse the flow of time. Together they must clear Dastan’s name, reveal the true murderer and, because the stakes apparently weren’t high enough already, save the world.
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