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Why Clash of the Titans might be “The Worst Movie Ever Made”

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April 5th, 2010 at 12:08 am

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Over the weekend, my esteemed colleague Julia Rhodes reviewed Clash of the Titans, the latest big budget and (kind of) 3-D blockbuster release starring Avatar’s Sam Worthington. Julia gave this remake 1 1/2 stars. After seeing the film yesterday evening I felt it necessary to contribute my own critical take on the film. Normally, Julia and I have eerily similar opinions about the quality of the films we review. But not this time. 1 1/2 stars, Julia? You are far, far too kind. In fact, I think there’s a decent argument that Clash of the Titans may be one of the worst movies ever made.

Movie Still: Clash of the Titans

Sam Worthington stars as “Angry Face McGee” in Clash of the Titans.

I consider myself a somewhat reasonable film critic. I have even been accused of unrealistic optimism in my attempts to find the good in every film I watch. (Hell, I actually admire The Room for its sincerity. But that’s another blog entry for another time… later this week, actually.) It would be fair to say that although I had heard negative criticisms about Clash of the Titans, or at least the shoddy 3-D effects, I was prepared to give this particular movie a fair shake.

I barely recall the original Clash of the Titans, so the remake had few expectations to live up to. Director Louis Leterrier is, as near as I can tell, one of the strongest action directors to emerge from the past decade, having directed the genuinely exceptional Unleashed, the misunderstood and ridiculous Transporter 2 and the surprisingly entertaining Incredible Hulk. And of course the cast is dynamite: Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, and Mads Mikkelsen have all earned my respect in previous films, and although Sam Worthington underwhelmed in his other two blockbusters he did exude an unmistakable charm in the very strong Australian thriller Rogue. So I was open to the possibility that Clash of the Titans might be an entertaining special effects-driven thrill ride, at the very least. Instead, the film inspired my following Twitter comment: “My Three Word Review of Clash of the Titans: Just. F***ing. Awful.”

So what went wrong with this film? I’m afraid I’m going to need a lot more than three words.

Movie Still: Clash of the Titans

Fun Fact: Shortly after creating Man, Zeus (Liam Neeson) also created the Star Filter.

Clash of the Titans centers around a “simple” conceit: God(s) created Man, but in order to survive these Gods must feed (somehow) off of the prayers of Man. It’s a concept that has been bandied about in religious and mythology-laden fantasy stories for a while now, but as a plot device in Clash of the Titans this concept is nothing short of the ridiculous. The story is set in motion when the people of Argos decide that they will no longer pray to the Gods in order to weaken them and, presumably, end their reign. Genuinely threatened, the Gods are forced into action. Hades (Ralph Fiennes) presents during what appears to be the Gods’ bi-weekly family meeting the following proposition: Force the King and Queen of Argos to sacrifice their beloved daughter Andromeda (Alexa Davalos) to the Gods – thus feeding the Gods both devotion and a delicious princess – or suffer the wrath of the Kraken, an enormous monster so powerful that it killed the Titans (before the events of this film, of course, which is to say that there isn’t a single Titan present in Clash of the Titans). The resulting devastation would then terrify the rest of Mankind into praying to the Gods on a regular basis.

And this… is stupid.

Again, the concept of Gods needing the prayers of Man – or at least their faith – in order to remain Gods is hardly new and not intrinsically problematic from a mythological perspective. The real problem here is as follows: Who in Zeus’s name told Mankind about it? You don’t see Superman sending out press releases about Kryptonite very often. It’s absurd. And even if, out of some bizarre and culturally archaic sense of “fair play” one or more of the Gods let this tidbit slip out, then why aren’t the Gods responding to everybody’s prayers? In Clash of the Titans, Gods and Men are presented in a symbiotic relationship, and the plot centers around each of member of this relationship neglecting their responsibilities to the detriment of all, with absolutely no motivation for doing so.

Movie Still: Clash of the Titans

“Family meeting, everybody! Poseidon, get out of the pool. We’re having a family meeting.”

For the record, these are also Greek gods who, unlike “modern” God(s), have an active role in daily life on Earth. Since Christian God (for example) doesn’t actually show up in person very often, there is a complicated belief system that explains his apparent absence during a crisis: “God works in mysterious ways,” etc. The result is that the belief in a “modern” deity is somewhat subjective, and regardless of where you stand on a specific religion it often falls to “Faith” to explain one’s devotion to a specific deity. In contrast, an early scene in Clash of the Titans shows Mankind toppling an enormous statue of Zeus in defiance, and Hades immediately shows up in person with an army of flying demons to exact revenge. In the world of Clash of the Titans, you don’t have to take the existence of God(s) on faith, so why would anybody EVER intentionally piss them off?

I suppose it could be argued that the entire scenario was orchestrated by Hades, who is presented in the film as an antagonist of sorts. We’ll get to his machinations in a bit along with the rest of the major spoilers. For now let’s take a break from the conceptual nightmare Clash of the Titans presents us and instead focus on the characters, or lack thereof, it presents to us instead. Sam Worthington stars as Perseus, and has an interesting take on the character as a black hole of charisma. Perseus, though fathered by Zeus (Liam Neeson), was raised by Spyros, a human fisherman played by Pete Postlethwaite, who looks so thin and sickly that everyone I saw the film with was sincerely concerned for the actor’s well-being. (If it was an elaborate special effect then it was an awful one, since the result was anything but immersive, and if it was not then his health should have been taken into greater consideration.)

Spyros questions the Gods – specifically because they fail to answer so many of his prayers (see the preceding five paragraphs) – so when he dies in a God-related incident Perseus latches onto his adopted father’s ethos as gospel and spends the rest of the film in defiance of the Gods, even after learning he himself is a Demigod in one of the stupidest plot points ever filmed outside of the new Star Wars trilogy. You see, when Hades presents the King of Argos with his options (i.e. sacrifice his daughter, or sacrifice his daughter and everyone else too), he also decides to point out in public that Perseus is the son of a God, which makes Hades a complete and utter moron. If only a Demigod like Perseus is capable of defeating the Kraken and saving Argos, and nobody – not even Perseus – knew there was a Demigod in Argos, then it contradicts every Machiavellian machination Hades has been laying since the dawn of creation to point a big Godly finger at Perseus saying (paraphrased), “Incidentally, this is the only guy that can foil all of my plans.” In theory, Io (Gemma Arterton), who is immortal and knew Perseus was a Demigod, might have brought it up at some point but she certainly hadn’t done so yet and thus Hades acted entirely against his own interests in a shameless and completely unmotivated attempt to jumpstart the plot.

Movie Still: Clash of the Titans

Hades (Ralph Fiennes) effectively destroys his greatest nemesis: No, not Cassiopeia (Polly Walker). I mean Common Sense.

That plot takes the form of a “Hero’s Quest” in which Perseus and a small unit of soldiers (and two comic relief guys) walk to a distant mountain to ask some evil witches for advice on how to kill the Kraken, which attacks in 10 days. Here’s a question nobody asks: If they only have 10 days to reach this mountain, then go and do whatever the witches say is necessary to defeat the Kraken, and then return to Argos, why in any God’s name would they walk? Had horses not been invented yet? Doubtful, since when Perseus sees his first Pegasus, Io points out that no human being has ever ridden one, implying that riding animals is a common enough occurrence for somebody to have tried it before. And since the King himself is bankrolling this extremely important mission you’d think he wouldn’t have cheaped out on the transportation.

Along the way, our “heroes” are confronted with an episodic series of action sequences with no relation to each other. Perseus, who spends most of the journey whining about refusing to use any of his Godlike powers to defeat a God (principles which every other character finds highly impractical to the point of, once again, idiocy), is attacked by underappreciated character actor Jason Flemyng, who inexplicably plays a supernatural assassin and the guy whose wife Zeus raped to produce Perseus in the first place. At first I assumed that Clash of the Titans would “reveal” that he was the same man, perhaps cursed by the Gods to do their dirty work for trying to kill Zeus’s son, but instead the dual casting is never mentioned and, in fact, Flemyng is credited as playing two distinct characters in the credits. A valuable opportunity for pathos and even narrative closure is thus abandoned for no discernible reason whatsoever.

Movie Still: Clash of the Titans

Starring the Racist Stereotype, as itself.

Speaking of “no discernable reason whatsoever,” Jason Flemyng’s blood appears to spontaneously generate giant scorpions, which succeed in killing far more of Perseus’s men that Flemyng ever does, raising the question of why any God/”Scorpion Creating Guy” who legitimately wanted Perseus dead wouldn’t have opened with the scorpions instead. Then a group of Jinn show up and Deus Ex Machina a half dozen incidental plot points to death (like that transportation they so desperately needed in the first place). These Jinn serve no other purpose whatsoever to the narrative. One of these Jinn joins Perseus’s party, but at no point actually conveys anything resembling a personality, ruining an obvious (though nevertheless significant) opportunity for drama as our heroes are forced to make a friend out of a natural enemy. The fact that the filmmakers literally demonize the Jinn, the only characters in Clash of the Titans who dress in Middle-Eastern garb, is not unlike Pandora’s Box: Important to point out but probably best left unexamined.

In fact, none of the characters make much of an impact. Remember the characters? Like the filmmakers I forgot all about them for a while and have decided to brisk through their personalities near the end as an afterthought. Mads Mikkelsen probably accrues the most rooting interest as the character who, like the audience, doesn’t like Perseus very much. Towards the end of the film he gets to quickly exposit that someone he loved died, and that is all. Every other human character is such a minor consideration that you’re not even sure who most of them are when they die.

Movie Still: Clash of the Titans

And featuring Mads Mikkelsen, as Sympathetic Character Number One. Wait, I mean the one sympathetic character. Honest mistake.

Io has the time-honored “curse” of immortality, and it’s implied that she wants Perseus to succeed in defeating the Gods so she can die once and for all. (That’s a plot point I’ve never really bought, but that’s a conversation for another time.) She also has a love subplot with Perseus that gets tacked on in one of the dumbest scenes in the film (note the clarifier “one of”). Shortly before the Medusa sequence Io takes Perseus aside to teach him how to fight the Medusa so he won’t be killed. This might make sense in the abstract, but in context is completely nonsensical. First, why only teach Perseus how to survive the Medusa fight if he’s going in with an entire squad of soldiers? This is information that everybody could have found useful. Secondly, how the Hades did Io even figure out how to fight the Medusa in the first place, when she herself tells Perseus that no woman is allowed inside Medusa’s temple and no man has ever been inside and lived? She has absolutely no way of knowing what Medusa’s fighting tactics are, and if she really knew this much about the Medusa then why didn’t she tell Perseus about her in the first place, rather than wasting everybody’s time by making them walk to Witch Mountain to get the information secondhand? And the sudden arrival of a sexual attraction at the end of this training sequence left the audience – even those who actually seemed mildly involved – howling with laughter.

Movie Still: Clash of the Titans

There is no chemistry at work in Clash of the Titans. There is however, some astronomy: These plot holes are big enough to create a singularity.

And now we enter a discussion of the ending of Clash of the Titans. If you don’t wish the end of the film ruined I will take this opportunity to say the following: A) You already know how this film ends, and B) The entire purpose of this article is to explain why you should never see this film, so ruining the ending will hardly be detrimental to your viewing experience (which you won’t enjoy anyway). Spoiler Warning, I suppose, but I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you.

At the end of Clash of the Titans, the 10 days are up and Hades tells Zeus that it’s time to unleash the Kraken. At this point Zeus tells all the other Gods to leave him alone with Hades, implying that he’s about to do something that is either classified or at least frowned upon by everyone else in the room. Instead, he waits for everyone to leave and then orders Hades to unleash the Kraken, which is what every other God expected him to do anyway. The Kraken attacks and Hades reveals that while Zeus and the other Gods feed off of mankind’s prayers, Hades only feeds off of their fear, so releasing the Kraken just makes Zeus weaker and Hades more powerful. Which, again, is stupid. What if the people of Argos really had sacrificed the princess before the arbitrary deadline? His entire plan would have collapsed like a flan in a cupboard. For that matter, if releasing the Kraken was entirely in Hades’ best interests, why would he warn Mankind about it and give them time to find a suitable defense? Why not just release the Kraken at any old time to destroy Argos? I assure you, they would have been equally afraid.

Movie Still: Clash of the Titans

For once, the homicidal religious fanatics are the most reasonable characters in the film.

Perseus does defeat the Kraken, of course, which raises another perplexing issue: By defeating the Kraken, Perseus essentially proved to the people of Argos, and by extension Mankind, that Gods could be defeated by mortals (or at least Demigods), which would certainly diminish Mankind’s faith in the Gods. The problems of Man are temporarily allayed, but the problems of the Gods are left completely unresolved. If anything, the Gods should have just sent another disaster – preferably something unkillable, like a volcano or a tidal wave – to destroy the city and make their point. Instead, Zeus shows up to Perseus and tries to play the whole thing off like it was his plan all along. What exactly was your plan, Zeus? To starve the Gods to death?

To cap it all off Zeus tries to prove that he’s a nice guy by bringing Io back from the dead as a last minute happy ending for Perseus, who may have defeated the Kraken but achieved nothing resembling a personal victory. This, of course, is stupid, since all Io wanted was for her immortality to end. So in rewarding Perseus he punishes Io. The sound falls out and the camera helicopters away as soon as she’s revived, no doubt to mask the sounds of Io’s never ending screams  of profanity.

End Spoilers, I suppose.

Movie Still: Clash of the Titans

Monster Vision: The only real vision at work in Clash of the Titans.

So is Clash of the Titans officially one of “The Worst Movies of All Time?” It’s too soon to tell, but it’s certainly one of the sloppiest and most poorly conceived films in recent memory, alongside such abominations as G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, The Spirit and Avatar (at least Sam Worthington managed to ride a flying fictional beast without raping it this time). Most of the reviews I’ve seen for Clash of the Titans advise audiences to simply “Avoid seeing it 3-D,” and while that’s a fair point I think these people missed the bigger picture, possibly because they were too distracted by those ridiculous 3-D effects (distraction being just about the only thing 3-D is good for, but again, that’s a matter for another time). The important thing is to avoid seeing Clash of the Titans altogether. The only thing epic about this movie is its many, many failures.

All pictures are Copyright © Warner Bros. Pictures

  • Gaz

    I completely agree, but would also like to point out:

    1. Why bother trying to give Andromeda to the Kraken when it’s there to destroy Argos? A bit too late.

    2. Why did one of the generic soldiers tell Perseus ‘let them know a man did this’ when he had every opportunity to fight on against Medusa, and Perseus was in a good position to attack from behind? He then proceeded to look at Medusa as if a stone statue of himself was more of a decoy (to allow Perseus to attack) than one that is fighting her.

    3. You can watch most of the 3D version of the film without glasses and it looks the same.

    Absolute garbage.

  • Julia Rhodes

    1.5 stars is generous, but deserved. I gave it that mostly because, well, as utterly dumb as this movie is, I had just seen the original, and this one may have earned its place next to the first in the Cult Classics category. Its only redeeming quality is its visual effects (though the 3D is downright dumb), and it would make a hell of a drinking game. I don’t necessarily want my two hours back, since I had fun laughing at the stupidity. As far as I’m concerned, those things contribute fairly to 1.5 stars. That’s equivalent to a 30%, also known as FAIL or EPIC FAIL, depending on your qualifications.

  • Will

    You made several good points; however, I think you worried about plot holes a little too much.

  • Mike

    Wow, you “critics” read way too much into this film. It’s Clash of the Titans, not Titanic. Lower your expectations. If you truly want a disappointing movie watch Wicker Man.

  • Anne

    The first Clash of the Titans was terrible. So it seems
    they are carrying on the traditions of the franchise.

  • Renee

    Why go to a movie that is based on Greek mythology if you know nothing about the legends and want to try to rationalize it. This was based on the first movie but they did take license in changing some of the mythology. The first movie was closer to what has been written. It does not require belief or trying to puzzle out why the Greeks believed as they did about their Gods of ancient times. It is purely for entertainment and I guess if you don’t go to see it from that perspective and try to dissect the story, you won’t like the movie. I am a lover of mythology so I didn’t mind the changes to it that much for the sake of an entertaining movie. All this dissection is purely ludicrous. I loved the movie!

  • Luke

    After I saw the movie, I came home and Googled ‘Clash of the Titans Worst Movie Ever’ which led me here.

    Let me just say I agree 100% in saying that this movie has the potential to be one of the worst movies ever. The real let down for me was the acting. On paper, the cast is amazing, but each one of those respected actors performed horribly. In saying that, a lot of that could be due to the non-excusably horrid dialogue. Seriously, WTF?

    The movie was just a mess and I spent the most of the time laughing at it. I spent $20 tonight when I could of just hired ‘Knowing’ and got the same experience. I’m pissed.

  • Luke

    By the way, sorry for my inexcusably horrid grammar.

  • Tina

    William, you have put in to words what I have not been able to since seeing this film. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I had such high expectations for this film, being a lover of Greek Mythology, and growing up with the 80’s cult classic. I know the original doesn’t follow the exact stories, but they made more of an attempt then this new version. My only addition to your 99.9% perfect review would be how incredibly inaccurate this movie depicted Greek Mythology.

  • Nick

    Loved it, but I just ignored all the stupid plot holes. There are two things that I believe you missed.

    The Ginn’s racial stereotype went a little farther than their garb. I was quite ok with that. What got me was how the only Arabic Character in the film also was a suicide bomber. Seriously I thought that to be horribly culturally insensitive.

    Secondly, anybody totally confused about where medusa was? Was she in the underworld, and if so, how come they could see the sun?

  • http://calitreview.com/author/william_bibbiani William Bibbiani

    Hey Nick, I was willing to forgive some poor geography in regards to the Medusa, but your suicide bomber remark is indeed interesting and well-remembered. Well done!

  • COtT Sucks

    Some other points.

    What’s with the mechanical owl that appears out of a chest as the soldiers are leaving Argos? I was at least expecting that to make some kind of appearance at a later point but it was a seemingly random event of stupidity. Why not have a ipod for the long walk too?

    Perseus is given a shield made from a scorpions hide, and told that ‘no sword strike will penetrate it’ (paraphrasing). Of course this doesn’t take into account the fact that the scorpion was killed with a sword.

    Despite the fact that Perseus is pissed that his dear family is dead, Zeus ressurects Io. Hmmm lets see, revive the mans beloved father or this chick hes known for a week? Good choice Zeus.

    We never find out the names of any of the other soldiers except Perseus.

    The lackluster killing of the Kraken was terrible, although it makes sense that 1.5 hours of terrible movie ‘climaxes’ in 1.5 seconds.

    To claim that you love mythology and yet still love this movie is an oxymoron. You don’t love mythology, you love flashy things, loud noises and monsters. No part of this movie had anything to do with mythology other than the fact that some of the characters shared names with people from mythology. It was a waste of money to make, waste of time to see, and you are a waste of air if you enjoyed it.

  • Will Swaggins

    Other points.

    Am I the only one on Earth who never noticed that there were two of those monster-scorpions when they started fighting it (them)? I didn’t get it when Perseus’s “good-fellow-protector” killed the scorpion with a lance (after he planted two swords through its shell), and then heard the noise of an other one, which I supposedly had understood was there before, and it was fighting with the others (Perseus included). It really seemed to me like they were all fighting one monster-scorpion until they killed the first one and made a second one appear. There was a moment I must have blinked my eyes and miss a 1.5 second of information.

    And wtf happened when Perseus gets swallowed by this second scorpion? We never see the scorpion eat him, but then they film the other characters like if they’re worried about something (so should we be, we just don’t know what to worry about) and that’s when Perseus burst out of the Scorpion, thinking that we, spectators, knew he was inside of it, and that we’re happy to see him alive, finally. NO TENSION WAS BUILT HERE, I FELT NO SATISFACTION WHEN I SAW YOU, PERSEUS! It is not your fault, I know…

    So, that’s what I wanted to share with you because this “Scorpion(s) Scene” really pissed me off and was worth writing about it. And yes I think it HAS to be in the top ten of the worst movies of the upcoming decade, at least. Who knews, it might stand in the list until 2100′s.

  • this movie sucks

    This movie insults the intelligence of anyone who actually took sometime of their lives to study greek mythology, this movie does not seem to follow at all what the greeks, believed in. to start with the gods do need for menkind to worship them, they are gods, they were here before men, and they ovbiously survived, so who says they have started to need people’s faith all of the sudden. also why would the kraken (hades son) live under water, as I recall the kraken did in fact live under water, but it was only poseidon that could unleash him, it only makes sense since this is his kingdom. over all this movie sucked and I completely hated it… I wish i could get the 25.50 bucks i paid to watch this movie back, and not only the money but also my time.

  • nathan

    Entertaining, but deeply flawed movie. On it’s own and in 2D, it was mindless entertainment but enjoyable. As a remake, it was laughable but so was the original. As a telling of Greek mythology, yikes… this movie plus the Hercules and Xena series make for poor classical education.

    Just a small glitch in your review, though. I’m pretty sure that when Hades approached King Acrisius in his cavernous throneroom, he told him that he had killed his wife (Perseus’ mother) for nothing. Hence, there was indeed a scene making the connection between the man and the creature assassin who turned back into a man at death.

    I wasn’t disappointed in the movie overall… it killed time well enough. However, Perseus not taking Andromeda as his wife and instead hooking him up with Io is literary sacrilegiousness. So was Io’s presence in the film at all.

  • http://cannes-or-bust.com/ Cannes news

    “Clash” is remarkable in one particular aspect: it features all the worst performances from Liam Neeson, Ralph Fienes, Mads Mikkelsen (one point for at least trying, though) and… what’s his name again the guy that played in Avatar?

    By the way, did I miss the titans in the title?

  • woot?

    hold on i thought the real greek mythology goes like this
    1-percy n mom got kicked out by daddy king? both survives
    2-percy was sent out to retrieve medusa’s head cuz someone want’s a piece of her mom
    3-he ended up marrying ANDROMEDA! not IO?? eventually having hercules as one of the (great?) grandsons?

    bahhhhhhhhhh

  • http://calitreview.com/author/william_bibbiani William Bibbiani

    Man, the “real” mythology is so screwed up in this Clash of the Titans that I didn’t even bother to go into it. Once again Hollywood takes a story that quite literally writes itself (because it’s already been written), and throws it down a well to come up with something new – and stupid – and call it something old. People who don’t know the original, or the mythology, won’t care and the people who do know the original will be pissed off.

    Sigh… Remakes…

  • Trevor

    I agree with most of what was said in this review. One thing I would point out though Io was not cursed with immortality, it was agelessness – a big difference. This means she could still get bumped off just not get any older.

  • zm

    I’m a muslim and I have no problems with the portrayal of jinn. Yr intent is commendable but misplaced in this case. It is fairly accurate and in keeping with what is said Jinn them in middle-eastern mythic structures. I’m happy that some of the rich middle-eastern tradition is finding its way into mainstream hollywood.
    I was a big fan of the 80s Clash when it came out, and I’m really happy to see this myth re-interpreted in such a fresh way. Perseus and Andromeda is the first myth in the Aegean tradition that tries to set up a relationship of god-man-underworld. Its a founding myth which has great power, often replicated in many many stories through the ages.
    I thoroughly enjoyed this film.

  • IZ

    Well I just finished watching this movie and the first thing I did was google “Suicide bomber in clash of the titans”! I’m a muslim too, and I have to say, the suicide bomber thing was the biggest WTF? moment out of a whole series of them.

    I feel I can enjoy big blockbuster movies as much as anyone – I was entertained by GI Joe and Avatar, so its not as if I turn my nose up at anything that is not art cinema. But this was truly one of the lousiest movies I’ve seen in years. Why were the gods doing what they were doing? It made no sense! As a realist, I don’t expect Hollywood to stick to the original source material and don’t mind them deviating from the original story. But surely the new story has to make some kind of sense? I have to say I fully agree with this review.

  • IZ

    Sorry to double post, but just to add that the second biggest WTF moment came hot on the heels of the arabic suicide bombing jinn and that was the hard-case disposable squad veteran saying “Tell them MEN DID THIS!”

    “This” in this particular context is murder a woman (Medusa) who had been raped and cursed to years and years of unending torment who had been minding her own business in her lair simply because they wanted to use her head for their own purposes. Not only did this movie strike an uncomfortably racist note but also a deeply misogynistic one in a matter of a few minutes. What is up with that?

  • George

    More stupidity…

    Near the start of the film, soldiers are toppling a statue of Zeus in defiance. So Hades, who is Zeus’s foe, exacts revenge. Why? Wouldn’t this act have weakened Zeus and thus be in Hades’ interest? Subsequently Hades goes and asks Zeus for permission to act against the humans, which he clearly doesn’t need since he was already doing that, against his own best interest.

    10 days to decide on a sacrifice of the princess or the entire city. How about 10 minutes? Or 10 seconds? Why give them any time at all to mount a defense or send out an expedition? And why is there a request for a sacrifice at all? Why not make the demand that they once again resume worship? Isn’t that the point?

    The son of Zeus is thrown into and somehow survives being submerged in the sea. The Kraken comes from the sea. Yet none of these things appear to have any relation whatsoever to the supposed lord of the sea – Poseidon. He is simply forgotten in the film.

    Zeus offers a number of gifts to assist his son Perseus to complete his quest – which is of course to defy Zeus and weaken his power, directly against his own interests.

    The soldiers don’t trust the Jinn – the people who just saved them from certain death at the hands (or pincers) of giant scorpions, bigger and more numerous than the ones that decimated their squad scant moments before.

    Hades says he feeds off fear instead of love and devotion. Well you don’t get much fear from dead people, which is what the entire city of Argos would have been if Hades had his way. We can only presume that once dead, their souls would continue to feed Hades since he’s the lord of the underworld. But if that was so, he would inevitably grow stronger as everybody eventually dies and goes to his realm regardless.

    In the film they have the Medusa’s lair in the underworld. But if it was there, nobody would go there. So where did all the statues of soldiers come from? Is it part of regular army drills to take an epic foray into the underworld? They already showed how problematic it was to even cross the river. Apparently you just throw a coin INTO the river Styx to get Charon’s attention, you don’t actually have to give it him.

    So they’re there. The veteran soldier sacrifices himself to the Medusa as a distraction, allowing Perseus who is now BEHIND her (and thus temporarily safe from the stony gaze) to take his shot. Perseus does nothing the whole time this takes place and waits until the Medusa has dispatched the soldier and is ready to pounce again, making the entire scene completely pointless, after which he slays her with a lucky shot.

    The Jinn can control giant scorpions. I bet a half dozen of them could have waltzed into the Medusa’s lair and slain her no problems. Especially since the Jinn are immune to her stony gaze.

    But the Jinn abandoned Perseus, refusing to follow him further for some reason. Except one, we never learn why one of them didn’t abandon him. Couldn’t he have brought a giant scorpion with him? Oh it turns out that humans can learn to ride and control giant scorpions too, as evidenced at Argos when the two adventurers re-appear to snatch a winged monster out of the air with their giant scorpion pet. So everybody could have ridden into the Medusa’s lair on a giant scorpion.

    Speaking of winged monsters – the one that grabs the Medusa’s head-in-a-bag – couldn’t he simply have thrown it away or dumped it in the ocean or into the Kraken’s mouth or something? Where was he going with the head?

    The entire film was one baffling nonsensical plot-hole to another.

  • George

    Sorry, couldn’t resist adding one more…

    The shield made from giant scorpion hide, said to be stronger and lighter than any steel. This is the same scorpion hide that the entire squad of soldiers were just jabbing their swords, spears and daggers into without any difficulty. The scorpions were big and dangerous, but not the least bit impervious to weapons, thus making the shield utterly useless. This was evidenced again by showing it shattering after one or two blows in the first fight that he used it.

  • lucky

    Oh my GOD! in order to get into a movie like this in the first place you have to be able to suspend your disbelief
    after all this is a myth and just meant to entertain.
    Which it does quite well BTW!

    If you are well versed in the movie versions of the greek
    myth’s then this movie makes perfect sense.
    do yourselves a favor and don’t see a movie like this
    and expect it to follow your brand of logic and reason.

    it’s just meant to entertain and that is what it does period the acting was solid the pace was good and the special effects were great id you want strict logic and realism just stick to law and order or CSI SUV or some other depressing crap like that!!

    my advice is to watch this movie on blu-ray on a 50 inch
    plasma screen with surround sound and watch all the special features which will explain many things..

    BTW “JINN” STARTS WITH A “D” AS IN “DJINN”

    Look for logic in life not on a movie screen
    especially when it comes to movies about fantasy and myth

    in other words it’s a fools game to try to apply logic
    to something that was never meant to be 100% logical in the first place..think about it…or in this case don’t think about it just enjoy it.i give this movie 4 out of 5 stars because i enjoyed it instead of over “anal”izing it
    to death.

  • http://calitreview.com/author/william_bibbiani William Bibbiani

    Dear Lucky,

    There is a difference between being “able” to suspend one’s disbelief and being willing to settle for shoddy entertainment because you have convinced yourself that a film deserves to be praised for trying to condescend to an audience, and succeeding.

    To put it another way, there’s a difference between ordering a hamburger (i.e. junky but delicious food) and complaining that it has feces in it, and ordering a feces sandwich, eating it all up and asking for seconds because, hey, at least you got what you ordered.

    Not all mindless entertainments are created equal, and asking people who spend many years and hundreds of millions of dollars producing a single film to tell a story that makes a modicum of sense isn’t really a hell of a lot to ask. It doesn’t have to follow “my brand” of logic and reason. It doesn’t have to follow yours either. All anyone can ask of a movie, book or any other work of fiction is that it follow its OWN brand of logic and reason. The events taking place within the narrative have to withstand its own internal logic, or the entire enterprise falls apart.

    Movies don’t get free passes just because they’re movies. But if you’re willing to accept anything that’s put in front of you, then there’s only one thing to be said: Enjoy your sandwich.

  • nick

    hey buddy, Djinn’s are islamic, no one is being racist.

  • John

    I appreciate many of your views, but i think that to fully appreciate this movie, you must first fully appreciate greek mythology. Many aspects in this movie are very accurate to the myths of Perseus. I did see the original, too, and believe the plot actually improved. I would personally rate this movie 4 stars.

  • John

    a few more things – somewhere here somebody said that perseus was eaten by the scorpiox: he was merely crushed and broke his way the top.

    Also the Djinn leader says they have waited for the one that can free them from their curse [which is never clearly stated] which is why the one djinn comes along to help. As for the title, the titan reference is the kraken and medusa. Although they are both late-titan era monsters. Io says “titan versus a titan” in the movie.

    And if the Djinn had gone into medusa’s lair on the scorpiox, they wouldn’t be turned stone, but the scorpiox would, becoming a giant stone nuisance.

  • Positive Vibrations

    Hmm, where to start?I thought the movie was entertaining, like watching the Anna Nicole show. I laughed so hard I almost cried.

    If I point out something already covered, then my bad. I read everyones comments and agree with most of them. Except that one about four stars…come on!

    Poor perseus is confused.He doesn’t want to use the gifts because a god killed his dad.So, because one god did something bad he hates ALL gods…hmm.Hello, thats what gods do,they take and give life.Thats why they call it “playing god”.

    Ok, so he doesn’t want to use the gifts, he’d rather let his hommies die. Then, after all of his bro’s are dead he decides he wants to use the gifts to save a chick he just met. Then he needs a pep talk from said girl to continue mission. He just wants to lay there with her and give up? Perseus, where is the commitment brother…the eye of the tiger baby!?

    Perseus keeps talking about “doing **it as a man” but no matter what he thinks, he is still half god.That was evident when he bested the elite warrior in sword fighting practice.Isn’t that like big a little pregnant?

    Also,I think that it was unfair of Hollywood to make the two darker skinned guys (The adventurers) afraid to continue mission.While All of the euro guys are brave enough to literaly walk into the gates of hell.

    All in all,I just have to say thank you to everyone who posted something. I was in a crappy mood today and after reading these posts I had some great laughs. Thanks guys.

  • David P

    Unwatchable. With only 20 minutes left I just couldn’t take any more. Utter and complete crap. Whoever did the writing should either sue the director or find another career.

  • Jaydia

    Out of all the inconsistencies the movie had with the story of Perseus. The end of the story annoyed me the most. Ok so Medusa’s gaze kills the Kraken. However one throw of the sword from Zeus sends Hades back to well Hades??????? Where is the fight? If u blinked u missed that whole scene. It took longer for Perseus to get the head back than to “kill” Hades! I didnt care for the movie and I grew up reading Greek mythology as a child. They may as well have put Kratos from the God of War video game to help Perseus or at least fight Hades.

  • Kraken The Monster

    The movie was enjoyable despite all these.

    I mean who has the time to wonder about the silly mistakes? Except you guys, ofcourse. But then, you guys do have a point which most people wouldnt care about.

  • Craig

    I actually liked the movie, and a lot of the points in this article wrong, but maybe that’s just me. “Who in Zeus’s name told Mankind about it?” As he previously mentioned, this was actually a religious belief around those times, so obviously, whether or not Zeus exists, word got out anyway. Zeus didnt want a “tasty” princess, but seeing as she was a princess, it would show a greater level of sacrifice, and provide Zeus with the power he requires. “so why would anybody EVER intentionally piss them off?” It becomes apparent throughout the movie that humans CAN fight Hades, deny the greek gods power, and still survive. I mean, Hades didnt just snap his fingers and the people were killed, Hades had to fight the men. And I’m sorry, but are you really complaining that a fisherman living in a world that fights the very overwatchers themselves, who can decide if someone gets food or not, doesnt end up being a well fed man? Makes perfect sense to me. I don’t believe in the greek gods, but when you watch a movie, try to surround yourself in it’s world, that’s the only way it will make sense. Nobody has to agree with me, just trying to throw my opinion out there like everyone else. Thanks!

  • CamCam

    I loved the 80s version (its a fun movie and the plot actually is quite interesting), so I was expecting a great remake.

    OH my God! This is the worst movie ever next to “I know who killed me” and “House of Wax”.

    The plot is just wrong, it makes no sense, the acting is dreadful and I’m sure 90% of the audience wanted Perseus to die.

    Did anybody else notice the Gods have the same armours as they did in the Japanese Anime Series of Saint Seiya?

  • amy

    100% agree. Whole thing made little to no sense. My only enjoyment was that the Jinn looked like Turians.

  • http://www.facebook.com/nicholas.strome Nicholas Strome

    Wow, I guess you don’t pay attention as much as you think you do. But then again, anyone whom spends thier life as a “critic” but uses the word “colleague” is probably some self important prick anyways.
    Where to start, The krakken “defeated” the titans, it wasn’t said that he killed them. Your “ASSumptions” unravel your detailed claims.
    The concept of “pissing off the gods” as you put it comes about due to the movies stated idea ranging from the people are “tired of being greatful for scraps” to “tired of the mistreatment by the gods”. you find many such exclaimations in todays world where there are people devote to thier faith yet frustrated to the atheist whom claims to obviously contain some grand wisdom that there is no God. A bold claim since they are just as dumb as the rest of humanity with no great gifts.
    I could go on, and your no real sci fi fan, it shows. For a ‘fan’ will overlook the small discrepancies for the sake of an overall movie. But “worse movie ever made” ?
    This statement alone saps any small credibility you might have had. I can think of many whom made ABSOLUTELY no sence at all, now we could go all the way back to “plan 9 from outer space” with thier 10cent backdrop to many choices of non-sensical movies today……….take our pick from any of the box office flops. For about a year alone we had to endure Hollywoods self-righteous military movie flops as they wove in thier own liberal ideology. Thus the flop.
    In D&D there is a higher probability that a spell wo’nt work on certain people because they “disbelieve” in magic. Not that I actually played it, but it just goes to show that our culture has shown many times in fantasy and real life that “belief” is powerful. A politician can’t do much without some level of support and admiration.
    a “trust” of the people or at least to con people into that trust is necessary. For someone claiming to be well versed enough to be a “critic”, I doubt your credentials. Hades said himself he survived on fear, not love.
    You really didn’t do much but whine about IO and his part too. But your basing your opinion on lacking information, a tactic many sci fi movies rely on. You have no clue where IO has been, how long she has lived or what she used to do or has done. Sure, she might not be on a first name basis with Medusa, but in the end, for all you intellectualism in searching for the truth, this is one part of the movie that it asks the viewers to ‘take it on faith’ since the past is not covered. Did you forget this is a mythological movie ? Do you not think that there have been similar creatures to Medusa and IO might have learned over decades, centuries or millineums. you simply don’t know, so you can’t comment credibly.
    I’d like to ask what was Zeus’s role in “IMMORTALS” ? He say the bad guy, he knew what he was going to do, he could have prevented the release of the titans and it ends in a war of the heavens. So Zeus wanted a war ? This makes much less sense than Clash of the Titans.
    The ONLY very stupid explaination that I saw was how Zeus though that hooked up with the kings wife was going to Make him an example. Seems the gods of Mythical times were no better than the corrupt, self centered, bloated humans which led to Romes fall. After all, it was posiden’s little advances that ruined Medusa’s life.
    But what ails me more is the 3D part. I don’t see 3D movies much, most don’t seem to need it and is just a way to make me pay $3 for glasses I’m not allowed to use again. What a waste.
    I’m by no means defending the bad points of the movie, but it is quite an upgrade from the panzy version from the 80′s. Was it lacking in places, sure, but was made more “now days” real with the twists where things didn’t go right. Perseus in the 80′s seemed to get mostly everything handed to him on a silver platter.
    But all in all, I think your piece belongs in the toilet, it is overly abrasive and still grossed $41 million.

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