Comments on: Marriage, A History: From Obedience to Intimacy, or How Love Conquered Marriage

By: David Loftus

David Loftus — Tue, 25 May 2010 22:56:07 +0000

I suppose it depends on how one defines “happiness,” Bruce. Your assertion that a nihilistic and narcissistic (note those critical modifiers, everyone) march toward personal happiness is a sure path to chaos suggests to me that your argument assumes personal happiness is based on collection and consumption of goodies. But what if one finds that one’s personal happiness lies in fufilling a life partner’s desires and goals? In voluntary service to others? In rejection of nonstop participation in consumer culture? I don’t see any of this as being inherently dependent upon Christian — or any other religious or spiritual — values.

By: Bruce

Bruce — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 19:06:31 +0000

Seems to me the biggest oversight in Coontz’s appraisal of Western marriage is the importance (past/present/and future) of a spiritual understanding of marriage.
Granted, she is a researcher, but she gives little to no credence to the fact that what she calls the 1950′s model of marriage is inextricably indebted to Christian ideals: Love as the greatest virtue; a covenant vs. a contract; the very notion that every individual life is significant….et. al.
She says this has been deconstructed by people who want personal happiness.
If anything is going to save marriage – perhaps even society – it’s going to be the acceptance – or return to – the belief that our pleasure in this world is not the sole measure of our life’s worth.
Certainly, we should not return to the inequality and misogyny of the past, but a nihilistic and narcissistic march toward “personal happiness”- whatever that is – and wherever it leads, is a sure path to chaos.

By: David Loftus

David Loftus — Sat, 24 May 2008 00:09:54 +0000

Errr . . . perhaps “Jocelyn?” could be a little more specific? Who are you asking? Judge what?

By: Jocelyn?

Jocelyn? — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 00:25:21 +0000

who are YOU to judge???!

By: Jocelyn Morin

Jocelyn Morin — Tue, 29 May 2007 17:19:31 +0000

This lucid review with startling revelations, some from the time of the ancient Greeks, reached through the generations and grabbed me. I’m looking forward to reading the book.